Women sometimes deal with problems especially emotional concerns by talking about them, sharing their feelings, and matching experiences with others. This can be frustrating to men, who more typically deal with problems by focusing on the facts and seeking an immediate solution. Occasionally, men perceive women to be ungrateful for the advice and solutions they offer and ponder in frustration why women don't want to resolve their problems!
Similarly, when men offer a solution, rather than talking about a problem, women may feel hurt, dissatisfied, and put-down by the lack of empathy men show. He: That's ridiculous! Nothing bad is going to happen, so just trust that I'll get there safely! If something bad does happen, I'm sure you'll hear about it!
I want to know where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing at all times. The misunderstandings in these examples probably result from differences in the ways that women and men show affection. It is more common for women to show affection through talking, but it is more common for men to show affection by doing things—either doing things together or doing separate things within the same physical space.
Sometimes not talking—not having to talk—is a sign of trust and intimacy for men. Understanding differences is the key to working them out. When we misunderstand one another, we often think that the other's motives are not reasonable, are mean spirited, or worse! But by knowing that women and men sometimes see—and hear!
Is the other responding to your problems with a solution, when you wanted to receive sympathy? Is the other responding to your message of affection with a message of status? If so, you will be able to help the other to understand the source of your miscommunication, and avoid the hurt feelings and conflicts that sometimes follow.
CFAES provides research and related educational programs to clientele on a nondiscriminatory basis. For more information, visit cfaesdiversity. For an accessible format of this publication, visit cfaes. Skip to main content. Family and Consumer Sciences. As academic researches point out, the various communication styles are closely connected with psychological differences as well as coined gender stereotypes in the society. Women have always had lower status than men and it is not easy to overcome stereotypes, which are so deeply rooted in society.
They surround us, from popular Disney movies to the Bible. It seems that this position of women reflects their communication style. Women for example have a tendency to be more polite and talkative. They are more focused on establishing and maintaining contacts and sharing opinions and emotions.
Whereas men are searching for being appreciated by women and underscoring their own position in the hierarchy. Overall, the main goal of male conversation is breaking the news to the listener as directly and briefly as possible to avoid being misunderstood. Moreover, men have a tendency to interrupt and speak more confidently than women in order to establish leadership and impress their listeners. On the other hand, female communication style focuses on building mutual understanding and support as well as raising the level of trust and respect instead of dominating their listeners.
Many researchers have tried to explain the reasons why female communication style is so incomprehensible for males. According to John Gray, the way of communication reflects the variety of values, goals and needs of gender.
It is common knowledge that men are goal-oriented whereas women are relationship-oriented. Just follow your workday to spot the difference. For instance, men tend to be self-affective at work, as they want to achieve tangible outcomes, whereas women concentrate on creating a friendly and helpful atmosphere at work and cooperation to achieve a goal.
Overall, women converse in a more polite manner, they avoid swearing and using intensifiers and tag questions, meanwhile men want to be treated as more independent, confident and assertive.
Have a look at the most commonly used words according to gender. So, what should men do to avoid being involved in a gender misunderstanding? Remember that conflict is sometimes inevitable as a part of our life, but it all depends on how we manage it. You need to know how to communicate between genders to keep the peace. The differences between the two approaches effectively establishes a gender barrier between men and women in how they communicate.
Task-oriented communication versus relationship-oriented communication may become exaggerated when conflict arises. Women are inclined to discuss conflict in an effort to preserve the relationship.
Men tend to internalize conflict, discarding the effect it may have on the relationship. Women's natural inclination to be empathic instead of analytical deepens the divide. Style differences during decision making is a common gender barrier to communication. Women are process-oriented and prefer to gather information, whereas men rely on a product-driven communication style. When an issue arises in the workplace, a female leader is likely to seek the advice of other colleagues.
A male leader may view this as a weakness and may believe that a leader should be able to make the decision on his own, without consultation. Similarly, women prefer to discuss issues verbally, whereas men tend to process internally. A woman may interpret silence from a man as disinterest in the issue or as disengagement from the group. Women use body language to affirm the person who is communicating with them.
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